Ruby Wednesday's
VIRTUAL ICEE KIOSK
Where the World of Information and the World of Artificially Colored Frozen Beverages Intersect
You are visitor number 
to this site
since the person who was here people before you.
Information. Icees. Can you think of two things more crucial to human survival in these trying times? This page will attempt to embody, or at least empage, the finest qualities of both.
Ruby's Guarantees:
- No information overload
- No brain freeze
Netscape Users: The following neatly laid out table is actually supposed to be a chaotic jumble of words that makes no sense at all. Unfortunately, unless you're using lynx, you won't be able to enjoy this. Sorry.
| Information | Icee | Virtual Icee Kiosk |
|---|---|---|
| Weighty | Insubstantial | Ponderous, yet devoid of substance |
| Constantly changing | Frozen | Content changes, but your computer will undoubtedly freeze while attempting to retrieve it |
| Assaults you from all directions whether you want it or not | Nearly impossible to find, even when you're looking for it | Assaults you, but only after you actively seek it out |
| Generally comes in drab colors (e.g. 'It's all right there in black and white.') | Generally comes in festive colors ('Cherry Snow' is a sick aberration) | Drab now, but will become more festive as I learn html |
Embarrassed because you don't know the difference between Icees and Slurpees? Well, you should be. But here's some help for you anyway.
More to come. That's a threat, not a promise.
- Check out the new, high-tech Burma Shave Simulation Suite.
- Visit my big brother, nieces and nephews.
- Mail me.